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Job McBadass
Douche (Retired)
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 920
Location: In the Moment
Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:10 pm |
 Post subject: A day in the life of your favorite comic book writers |
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OLD COPYPASTA IS OLD
| The dilapidated relic that used to be my careless whisper blog wrote: | Copy-pasta from a goldmine. No need to credit, but the thought was appreciated by the gods of the internet. So thank ye, Anonymous. Explicit language, so close your eyes and have the bar of soap ready in case of emergencies. I apologize for the unnerving bold print under the cut, my computer savvy cannot pass muster. Love the Alan Moore one.
Frank Miller:
9:00 AM - Wakes up
9:01 - 9:30 AM - Practices his stare in the mirror
9:31 - 10:00 AM - Breakfast
10:01 - 2:00 PM - Visits various forums, arguing with other users why Batman would win on a fight with Superman
2:01 - 3:00 PM - Lunch with movie executive, planning next Hollywood project
3:01 - 4:30 PM - Working on next project, but faced with a severe case of writer's block
4:31 - 5:30 PM - Works on his drawing skills, to try to lose his writer's block.
5:31 - 5:35 PM - Uploads artwork under a pseudonym on Deviant Art
5:36 - 6:30 PM - Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. What the hell, only one favorite?!
6:31 - 7:30 PM - Sits on a bench on the park around his house, creepily staring at little kids.
7:31 - 7:35 PM - All that practice paid off! Asked to leave the park by a police officer.
7:36 - 10:45 PM - WHORES! WHORES! WHORES!
10:46 - 12:00 PM - Writer's block gone. Finishes latest issue of All-Star Batman And Robin
12:01 - 8:59 AM - Sleep
Alan Moore
6 PM - Wakes up
6:01 - 7:00 PM - Beard trim, necessary to keep its power on check
7:01 - 8:00 PM - Sex with wife
8:01 - 9:00 PM - Sex with lover
9:01 - 11:30 PM - Meditation and prayer to the snake god in his private room
11:31 - 12:00 AM - Daily meal. Consists only of spices and tree bark
12:01- 4:00 AM - Wanders the streets of England, talks to homeless bums to get ideas for his next project
4:01 - 4:30 AM - Looks for a movie theater that is showing the latest adaptation of his comics
4:31 - Sunset - Performs ancient magic ritual to curse that movie theater
Sunset - 4:00 PM - Writes his next project in his private room
4:01 - 6:00 PM - Sleep
Stan Lee
9:00 AM - EXCELSIOR!
9:01 - 9:30 AM - EXCELSIOR!
9:31 - 10:00 AM - EXCELSIOR!
10:01 - 2:00 PM - EXCELSIOR!
2:01 - 3:00 PM - EXCELSIOR!
3:01 - 4:30 PM - EXCELSIOR!
4:31 - 5:30 PM - Call Quesada
5:31 - 5:35 PM - EXCELSIOR!
5:36 - 6:30 PM - EXCELSIOR!
6:31 - 7:30 PM - EXCELSIOR!
7:31 - 7:35 PM - EXCELSIOR!
7:36 - 10:45 PM - EXCELSIOR!
10:46 - 12:00 PM - EXCELSIOR!
12:01 - 8:59 AM - EXCELSIOR!
Alternative
5:30 a.m.: Wake up, breakfast
6:00 a.m.: Calisthenics with Lou Ferrigno to maintain youthful vigor
7:00 a.m. - 11 a.m.: Swims through his money bin.
Noon: Ride in his Rolls to Pierce Brothers Valley Oaks Memorial Park
12:30 p.m. - 1:00 p.m.: Long and excruciating piss on Kirby's grave.
1:05 p.m.: Wipes his dick with some of Kirby's original art that he claimed was lost.
1:30 p.m. - 3:00 p.m.: Teleconference with Joe Quesada, asks Joe's plans with Pete + M.J.'s marriage.
4:00 p.m.: Sells another Marvel property to a movie studio.
5:00 p.m.: Dinner with cardboard cutouts of Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the Incredible Hulk and Jack Kirby.
6:00 p.m.: Lou Ferrigno carries Stan to bed and tucks him in.
Neil Gaiman
8:00 - 8:30 AM - Breakfast, shower.
8:31 - 8:32 AM - Forget to shave.
8:33 - 9:01 Am - Fix hair.
9:02 - 10:00 AM - Blog about hair.
10:01 - 2:00 PM - Head down to local Hot Topic. Pose for fangirls.
2:01 - 2:05 PM - Write next novel.
2:06 - 3:00 PM - Stare wistfully into sky.
3:01 - 6:30 PM - Spend time with children, teaching them the secret ways of mousse and goth clothing.
6:31 - 7:30 PM - Invent new sexual positions. Name them Dominator, Demander, Dredger, Drinky, Diablo, Domino and Dopey.
7:31 - 7:35 PM - Blog about cats.
7:36 - 10:45 PM - Visit lolcats.com.
10:46 - 12:00 PM - Make sweet sweet love to wife, but disappointed by only getting up to dominoes.
12:01 - 8:59 AM - Sleep.
Grant Morrison
4:00 AM - Wakes Up
4:30-6:30 AM - Acid
6:31-7:30 AM - Meditation
7:31-7:33 AM - Thinks of idea for Final Crisis: Base story on Epic of Gilgamesh, make Darkseid a cross-dressing bisexual with the power to create life with his saliva. Writes it down on parchment with a feather quill.
7:34-8:30 AM - Breakfast
8:30-9:00 AM - Prepares disguise as old gypsy woman.
9:01-5:00 PM - Works secret second job as Tarot-reading fortune teller (Tue. and Thurs. only)
5:00-7:30 PM - Dinner. Spends time waiting for food by drawing All-Star Superman breakdowns on the backs of napkins, then tears them into little pieces and burns them.
8:01-9:30 PM - Porn analysis.
9:31-11:30 PM - Kung-fu death tournament against Warren Ellis and Frank Quietly.
11:31-3:00 AM - Late-night anti-grav meditation session, then sleep.
Joe Quesada
12:00 Noon- Wakes up.
12:30 PM- Has brunch, reads paper.
1:30 PM- Writes that Cup O' Joe thing that appears in the middle of Marvel books from time to time.
2:00 PM- Decides to make Mephisto a Skrull. Orders Bendis to change the ending of Secret Invasion to accomodate.
2:15 PM- Changes his mind, has Mary-Jane be the Skrull instead. She has now been a Skrull since the first day Pete Parker met her.
2:30 PM- Cackles madly.
8:30 PM- Sleep.
Greg Land
8:00AM - Wakes up
8:01 - 8:30 AM - Breakfast
8:31 - 12:00 PM - "Research" for his artwork
12:00 - 12:10 PM - Masturbation
12:11 - 12:45 PM - Lunch
12:46 - 3:00 PM - More "research"
3:01 - 3:15 PM - More masturbation
3:16 - 4:30 PM - Tracing
4:31 - 4:45 PM - Even more masturbation
4:45 - 10:00 PM - Wooo! Free time!
10:01 - 10:21 PM - Masturbation
10:22 - 11:00 PM - Renewing subscriptions to adult magazines
11:00 - 11:05 PM - Mastubration
11:06 - 8:00 AM - Sleep
Judd Winick
Noon - Wake up
12:00-12:30 - morning ritual (shower, breakfast, AIDS medication)
1:00-1:30 - Breakfast
1:30-4:00 - Visit Pedro's grave and weep bitterly. Ask God, "Why?" in loud, anguished tones that make other mourners very uncomfortable.
4:01-4:15 - Bang out next issue of Green Arrow/Black Canary
4:15-5:00 - Massive drinking to impair next issue even more/forget even more continuity.
5:00-5:30 - Lunch
5:30-7:00 - Local LGBT meeting
7:01 - AIDS medication
7:02-8:00 - write letter to Comedy Central about defamatory depiction of AIDS infected gay lovers in South Park. (lol irony)
8:01-8:30 Dinner
8:31-12:30 - Trolling gay personal sites for other positive guys. May or may not include cyber-sex.
12:30-2:00 - More bitter tears shed over Pedro's passing
3:00-noon - Sleep
Dan Slott
11AM - Wakes up
11:01 - 11:02 AM - Daily grooming
11:01 - 12:00 PM - Browses download websites, reporting any links he finds of .cbr's of his comics
12:01 PM - 1:00 - Reads comics
1:01 PM - 2:00 PM - Lunch
2:01 PM - 4:00 PM - Browses his giant comic book library for a very obscure character that he can use in the next issue of Avengers: Initiative
4:01 PM - 6:00 PM - Reads comics
6:01 PM - 7:00 PM - Goes to his local store, buys more comics
7:01 PM - 9:00 PM - Reads comics
9:01 PM - 11:00 PM - Writes comics
11:01 PM - 3:00 AM - Reads comics
3:00 AM - 11:00 AM - Sleeps
Brian Michael Bendis:
6:00 AM: Wakes Up
6:01 AM - 6:15 AM: Inspects scalp for hair that may need to trimmed. Never finds any.
7:00 AM - 2:30 PM: Works at suburban high school as janitor. Monitors teen speaking patterns for use in writing.
2:31 PM - 3:00 PM: Calls Sam Raimi for Spider-Man royalties, and is put on hold.
3:01 PM - 5:00 PM: Goes to local comic shop and pushes Jinx onto customers.
5:01 PM - 6:00 PM: Calls Tyrese Gibson about Luke Cage screenplay.
6:01 PM - 8:00 PM: Buys dinner for Joe Quesada as per his Marvel contract. Wonders where he went wrong during this time.
8:01 PM - 9:00 PM: Writes daily chapter of Kong/Luke Cage webcomic.
9:01 PM - 10:00 PM: Goes to scans_daily and laughs at the cries of fans.
10:01 PM - 11:00 PM: Wicca meeting with Brian K. Vaughn, Warren Ellis, and Mark Millar.
11:01 PM - 3:32 AM: Sleep
3:33 AM - 5:59 AM: Is visited by ghosts of Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Steve Ditko.
Warren Ellis
8am: Get up, drop acid.
8.01 - 9.23am: Admire pretty colours.
9.24 - 11.03am: Hold conversation with Riggle McThreepe, and get inspiration for next Hellblazer arc.
11.04 - 11.07am: Realize McThreepe is a hallucination. Trim beard.
11.08 - 12.00 pm: Crack knuckles.
12.01 - 2.01pm: Get down to some serious writing. Dictate next three chapters of book to restrained secretary, typing with her toes.
2.02 - 2.11pm: Feed and water secretary.
2.11 - 4.57pm: Work on new robot, for replacing his aging human flesh. Have argument with self over whether or not to give it fangs.
4.58 - 5.23pm: Tell them damn kids to get off his lawn.
5.24 - 6.00pm: Empty bear traps.
6.01 - 6.03pm: Test bowel disruptor.
6.04 - 10.00pm: Drop acid, and script next 19 comics in the bath.
Early bed.
Garth Ennis
5:30 am: Wake up, take piss
6:00 am: Eats breakfast while making dick jokes to his pet dog
7:00 am - 9:00 AM: PENISPENISPENIS
10 to Noon: Hits someone with car to get pictures of gore
12:30 pm - 1:00 pm: THEY PUT THE SIGHTS ON TOP FOR A REASON
1:00-2:00 pm: Hangs out with Billy next door, lights stuff on fire
2:00 pm - 3:00 pm: Grabs another man's crotch for no apparent reason
3:00 pm to 4:00 pm: Writes some Punisher MAX, is sure to include lots of penis jokes.
4:00 pm to 5:00 pm: Mom calls me up to dinner =(
6:00 pm to 7:00 pm: Writes more Punisher Max
7:00 pm-12:00 am: I NEED A DOZEN ASIAN WHORES
12:00 am to 5:30 am: Sleep
Adam Warren
10am: Drag self out of Harem.
10.0am: Bubble bath with rubber ducky.
11am: Look for pencil.
12pm: Find pencil. Draw next issue of empowered.
1pm: Fap.
2pm: Head into town to buy more pvc tape.
2.30pm: Stop off at cafe for a cream tea.
3pm: Shave pubes.
3.30pm: Test tape for 'realism'.
4.30pm: Finally manage to extract self from tape.
5pm: Go for Botox injection - gotta keep those lips full!
5.30pm: Weed garden.
5.53pm: Stung by bee. Lips now too big to open mouth.
6.30pm: Have tea - soup, through a straw.
7pm: Proof read empowered.
8pm: Fap.
9pm: Invited back to bed by harem.
9.01pm: Take a couple of little blue pills.
9.21pm: Realised not emptied bladder first.
9.22pm: Panic.
9.42pm: Finally pee while performing handstand.
10.00pm: Join Harem.
Chris Claremont
6:00 AM - Wakes Up
6:30 AM - 7:00 AM - Butler dressed as Wolverine serves breakfast on his bed.
7:01 AM - 7:15 AM - Takes a dump
7:16 AM - 8:00 AM - Writes the next issue of New Exiles
8:01 AM - 10:00 AM - Works on his next novel. Manages to write only one sentence, but it is a really careless whisper long one.
10:01 AM - 12:00 PM - Goes through the current Marvel comics, deciding what characters would never see the light of day again if he was writing those series
12:01 PM - 1:00 PM - Butler is now dressed as Captain Britain, serves him lunch.
1:01 PM - 3:00 PM - Stroke
3:01 PM - 4:00 PM - Prostitute dressed up as Psylocke visits him (on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she dresses up as Storm)
4:01 PM - 5:15 PM - Sits on a big batch of ice
5:16 PM - 6:00 PM - Goes over his favorite words. Fracas. Bub. Cripes. Sugah
6:01 PM - 7:00 PM - Butler now dressed as Colossus. Serves him dinner.
7:01 PM - 7:05 PM - QUICK COLOSSUS! FASTBALL SPECIAL ME INTO MY BED
7:06 - Sleep
Robert Kirkman
9:00 am - Wakes up
9:01-10:00 am - Thinks up pun names for comics characters
10:01-12:00 pm - Goes on comic message boards and angrily defends Rob Liefeld
12:01-12:30 pm - Eats Lunch
12:31-1:45 pm - Thinks up ways to kill off more original characters.
1:45-2:30 pm - Stares sadly at mirror, wondering how he can get his beard as glorious as Alan Moore's.
2:31-4:00 pm - Works on his 12 Image comics
4:01-5:00 pm - Sucks Erik Larsen's dick, assuring him that it doesn't matter if Image screws up his book's schedules.
5:01-5:45 pm - Reviews Ryan Ottley and Jason Howard's art. Tells them it needs thicker lines.
5:46-6:00 pm - Brainstorms for exciting new Marvel comics
6:01-8:00 pm - Throws out ideas and writes more Marvel: Zombies.
8:01-9:00 pm - Eats dinner, thinking about how to make a comic about zombie dickheads.
9:01-10:00 pm - Works on mail for his Image books.
10:00-11:00 pm - Masturbates furiously to Liefeld's creations.
11:01-9:00 am - Sleep
Jhonen Vasquez
1:00 P.M. - Wakes up after sleeping in the entire day because he spent all night making it (and it looks like it was completed in just one night to boot).
1:01 - 3:00 P.M. - Prepares his goth-like-in-appearance hairstyle for the umpteenth time and applies necessary make-up.
3:01 - 4:00 - Stares into the mirror for hours wondering why he has actually let himself appear so goth-like in appearance.
4:01 - 5:00 P.M - Leaves his house to eat "breakfast," usually a bagel that was thrown at him by someone who bought his Filler Bunny books.
5:01 - 7:30 P.M. - Sits by a bus stop next to a 7-11 and contemplating killing anyone who talks to him.
7:31 - ???? - Goes home to complete his latest work, complete with violence and moose.
Todd McFarlane
10:00am : sends flaming bag of dog poo to all opposition in industry via fed ex express
11:00 am : makes realistic model of it
11:03am : takes dump into brown paper bag
12:45 pm : finished, wipe and wash
12:46 pm: make realistic model of it with it
12:50 pm: send freshly created bag of poo to neil gaiman fed ex express, on fire
1:00 pm - 3:00 pm : bask in glory of myself
3:01 pm: make realistic model of it
4:00 pm: check bear traps in front yard, have sex with findings
5:00 pm: tell everyone at image how well they are doing making money for me
6:00 pm: whores, coke, sex, murder, and sex, in that order
7:00 pm: make realistic model of it
8:00 pm : fap furiously to the most disturbing pictures i can find
9:00 pm : check up on satan, see how the family is doing
10:00 pm: careless whisper hole in bed(or wife)
11:00 pm : fall asleep |
_________________
love,
Job |
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fnspidey
Guest
Mon Feb 09, 2009 11:02 pm |
| Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Alan Moore
4:01 - 4:30 AM - Looks for a movie theater that is showing the latest adaptation of his comics
4:31 - Sunset - Performs ancient magic ritual to curse that movie theater
Neil Gaiman
8:31 - 8:32 AM - Forget to shave.
6:31 - 7:30 PM - Invent new sexual positions. Name them Dominator, Demander, Dredger, Drinky, Diablo, Domino and Dopey.
Greg Land's entire schedule
Adam Warren
5pm: Go for Botox injection - gotta keep those lips full! |
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Job McBadass
Douche (Retired)
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 920
Location: In the Moment
Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:43 am |
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Someone should make a Brian K. Vaughan one.
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Job |
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