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Uncle Gravy
Filter Fighter
Joined: 12 Dec 2008
Posts: 471
Sat May 23, 2009 1:44 am |
 Post subject: i've got a 12 inch dick |
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www.omegle.com
Chat with a stranger.
Post funny logs here.
Stranger: im from Ebaumsworld.org, or ,com or whatever it is
You: and used to play mmos
You: haha seriously?
You: of course not seriously
You: *pats*
You: you know what's sad?
You: even though we're dumb
You: we gotta be smarter than 80% of these pubic hair rejects
You: anyway
You: catch you never
Stranger: May Greyskull be with you
You: ok no
You: you're smarter than
You: 70% now
You: sorry
You: u___u
Stranger: EARTH
Stranger: FIRE
Stranger: er...
Stranger: is it wind or water next
You: is that capt planet
You: or avatar
You: i think its water if it's avatar dude
Stranger: CP!
You: child protection
You: it's important
You: oy
Stranger: hi
You: what up
Stranger: 16 f brazil
You: uhh
Stranger: im very hungry
You: that did not answer my question actually
You: oh
You: hungry for what
Stranger: careless whisper you
You: unfortunately
You: we are all out of that
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Uncle Gravy
Filter Fighter
Joined: 12 Dec 2008
Posts: 471
Sat May 23, 2009 2:21 am |
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Hmm, I just chatted with a 29yr old tour guide who wanted to study night school to become a filmmaker.
He sounded so passionate it made me ashamed of myself. My god.
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AwesomeX
Will beam YOU up, Scotty
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 80
Sun May 24, 2009 2:20 am |
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My god, I'm so immature, but I'm completely hooked to this thing.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi sexy
You: i am fat and i have a giant beard, what's up
Stranger: ?
Stranger: okey , thats sexy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl ?
You: SHUT UP
Stranger: ta gueule
Stranger: ta moi même
Stranger: pauvre con !
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: 14/f/canada
Stranger: really?
You: you?
Stranger: 20/m/korea
You: KIM?!
Stranger: ??
You: is that you kim?!
Stranger: ye
You: oh thank goodness
Stranger: do you know korea?
You: i thought you've run away
You: 'cause i have something to talk to you about
You: i'm... i'm pregnant
Stranger: ............
You: ????
Stranger: You are telling a lie.
You: NO I'M NOT
You: careless whisper YOU YOU DON'T DESERVE LITTLE JOHNNY IN HIS LITTLE MUMUS
Stranger: How is pregnancy possible to 14 years old?
You: what?! you said i looked really mature for my age.
Stranger: ..
Haha, Aaron I actually made a friend, a hot Finnish redhead. For srs. We were co-trollers .
_________________
"Men were men back then, I'll tell ya. If you wanted to do something private with another man, it wasn't gay, no. It was just two men...celebrating each other's strength." |
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Job McBadass
Douche (Retired)
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 920
Location: In the Moment
Sun May 24, 2009 9:25 am |
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You: hi!
Stranger: hi
You: 18/f/greenland!
Stranger: 19 m usa
You: ta lim do?
You: ping kaw ti yah yah
Stranger: wut?
You: that's greenlandaise for hello, how do you do
Stranger: oh im good
You: i just schooled you in basic greenlandaise!
You: okay, wutcha doin?
Stranger: sittin here seeing if a girl wants to have some fun
You: ...
You: naughty
You: tell me
Stranger: yeah
You: you into gorp il tioplaw?
Stranger: dont know what that means
You: i think that's pooplicking in your language. i think
Stranger: no
You: what why?
Stranger: r u?
You: here in greenland it's all the rage
You: sure! my father taught me
Stranger: something makes me think ur not from greenland
You: is it because of my command of english? father always told e to watch out for you eleetist(?) amerikanerin.
You: amerikan swine are all the same
Stranger: mhm
Stranger: well at least we're not pooplickers
You: father tells me oderwise.
Stranger: how big is ur bust?
You: there seems to be a large demographic of you amerikans who are unto pooplicking.
You: bust?
You: i'm sorry
Stranger: boobs
You: oh! "boobs"! 7 inches
Stranger: nice
You: bust is something else in my language
Stranger: i think we have the wrong understanding of the word poop
You: i ahve to tell you someting, it can be unsexily
Stranger: k
You: you are asking for the length of my tale yes?
Stranger: no
You: soory, amerkian spelling eludes me
You: i think boobs do not mean waht you think
Stranger: i mean chest
Stranger: breasts
Stranger: tits
You: you amerikans and your colorful euphmisms
Stranger: of course
Stranger: ur american too
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Close, but no cigar.
You: Hello
You: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?
Stranger: I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK!
Stranger: woops typo
Stranger: Hello
You: I am Bro. Ezekiel of the New Century Methodical Sabbadist Church of Winsconsin, and I am sent here by my Lord to impart His wisdom.
You: May you tell me your name, future brethren?
Stranger: Isa
Stranger: i believe it was jesus who said "belive in me who believes in you" was it not bro
You: Isa; that is a wonderful name. Female, I presume? Or male and Eastern European? Worry not, your heathen upbringing will be forgotten eventually.
Stranger: never athiest 4 life
You: But in the NCMSCoW, it is everyone's privelege to be Christened with an Old Gothic name, you may choose from the following.
You: a) Portabella
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
_________________
love,
Job |
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fnspidey
Guest
Sun May 24, 2009 2:58 pm |
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Stranger: i am a man!
Stranger: stop talking
Stranger: i am a man!
Stranger: man!
Stranger: guy!
Stranger: dude!
Stranger: penis infected human!
Stranger: i am a man!
Stranger: really nothing
Stranger: if youre gunna stay atleast say something
Stranger: goddam asian
Stranger: no personality
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I'm loving this... |
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Job McBadass
Douche (Retired)
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 920
Location: In the Moment
Sun May 24, 2009 4:12 pm |
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Stranger: careless whisper
You: Okay, I know we're both dudes, so let's just pretend I'm a pretty girl.
Stranger: orly
You: Hi! *giggle* My name is Marnie! I'm 18 (barely legal, I'm actually 14!), female (obviously!) from Who Gives a Rat's Ass, Ohio. Who are you?
Stranger: tits or gtfo
You: How about a steaming mouthful of guy misspelled invitation? Are you retarded, I'm a careless whisper dude. In any case, look up a random pron site and pretend it's me. We can make this work man.
Stranger: oko
Stranger: i am from china
You: Ohh! Ching chong nip nong nong to you, good sir!
Stranger: yty
You: Yeah, I don't know what that means.
Stranger: you lose the game'
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I think I just talked to Joseph.
Also, more Ezekiel adventures.
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: asl ?
You: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?
You: I am Bro. Ezekiel of the New Century Methodical Sabbadist Church of Winsconsin, and I am sent here by my Lord to impart His wisdom.
Stranger: i believe in hesus .. but i am muslim
Stranger: jesus*
You: Muslim? We here at the NCMSCoW accepts diversity and that people from all walks of life are equal.
You: Kool Aid tastes great, too.
Stranger: NCMSCoW ?
You: New Century Methodical Sabbadist Church of Winsconsin
You: It's quite a mouthful.
You: Like the Kool Aid.
Stranger: so ?
You: The NCMSCoW way dictates that although we celebrate diversity, we must first test the faith of our prospective brethren in their chosen religion.
You: Do you accept this 'test'?
Stranger: may be
You: Why don't you try it out? Luckily for you, I have my "Islam Reaffirmation Guidelines" pamphlet.
You: Question number 1:
You: Where does the word "Islam" originate?
You: You are taking a long time to answer. Browsing the Wikipedias perhaps?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
_________________
love,
Job
Last edited by Job McBadass on Sun May 24, 2009 4:38 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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AwesomeX
Will beam YOU up, Scotty
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 80
Sun May 24, 2009 4:16 pm |
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I was talking to some dude who made a Lovecraft reference.
...Did I just talk to you Job?
_________________
"Men were men back then, I'll tell ya. If you wanted to do something private with another man, it wasn't gay, no. It was just two men...celebrating each other's strength." |
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The Goddamn
Insert Your Expletive Here!
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 111
Location: I live on the second floor
Sun May 24, 2009 4:32 pm |
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Stranger: hi
You: Hey there
You: Beep boop beep?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: Hi
You: Sure.
Stranger: Okay
You: That's awesome!
Stranger: Yeah i know 
Stranger: So i said to the guy, i said, listen..
You: WHAT DID YOU SAY
You: THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME
Stranger: Can't remember
You: I'M ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT
You: Damn!
Stranger: i won't tell you, it would ruin the mystique
Stranger:
You: Mystique is blue.
Stranger: Oh man
Stranger: Guess what just happend to me?
You: Jizz in your pants?
Stranger: Nope
Stranger: even better
Stranger: I almost caught a Magikarp the other day ..
Stranger: but it got away
Stranger: You should've seen it!
Needless to say, we had wild cybersex right then and there.
_________________
Batman doesn't have any superpowers... except his money. |
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Job McBadass
Douche (Retired)
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 920
Location: In the Moment
Sun May 24, 2009 4:53 pm |
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Stranger: hi
You: You descend into a dank, dismal dungeon. Your torch is flickering weakly because of the thin and putrid atmosphere. All of the sudden, a meaty crunch is heard from the eastern corner of the room. What do you do?
Stranger: I put on my robe and wizard hat
Stranger: I raise my staff and command light to shine
You: You don your arcane vestments, readying yourself for the impending threat. The light of your torch gives way to the dazzling illumination of your magic candle.
You: You point the staff towards the eastern corner. The light falls on a globular, spherical object, pulsating against the invasive corona.
Stranger: what colour is it?
You: The object, seemingly alive and ambulatory, is a deep, inky black. Despite the power of your wizardry, the light is struggling to illuminate its frame.
Stranger: I walk towards it, cautiously, murmuring a protection spell
You: You step carefully in the direction of the foul beast/contraption. Your fingers dance in the air, your readied sigils protecting you from any worldly harm. The"thing", as you can best describe it, does not notice you.
Stranger: I prod it with my staff, using the shiny end
You: You poke the "thing" with the shining end of your staff. The "thing" does not respond. Progressive poking yields nothing.
Stranger: I walk around it, looking for things
You: You turn your back from the "thing", an unwise and amateurish decision. Memories of the decades of tutelage under Master Trill, the failed romances with the barmaid, Marianne, and your firendly, yet heated rivalry with your fellow guildsman, the thief, Karibo, race through your mind as you walk into the slavering fangs of a lurking grue.
You: Thank you for playing.
You: Abort, Retry, Fail?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
_________________
love,
Job |
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fnspidey
Guest
Sun May 24, 2009 5:03 pm |
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Thanks, for the idea, Job!
Stranger: hi
You: Will you be a wizard, thief or warrior?
Stranger: thief
You: You are a Level 1 Thief.
You: You are starting out in a dungeon cell. The door opens, strangely enough, just enough for a little light to come in. What do you do?
Stranger: i explore the dungeon for secret entrances then i move closer to the light
You: You walk towards the door, moving closer to the light. Shadows flicker, as if two shapes are fighting. Do you step out the door or retreat?
Stranger: i step out the door
You: You step out the door and find two warriors fighting. What do you do?
Stranger: i try to sneak past them
You: They take no notice of you. You are successful. Game over! 
Stranger: what
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
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Job McBadass
Douche (Retired)
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 920
Location: In the Moment
Sun May 24, 2009 6:54 pm |
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Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Trolling?
Stranger: Why yes, it is me!
You: My god, man. I have been searching for your for 16 years!
You: Priscilla's dead, man! Of the purple fever!
Stranger: She is?
Stranger: Why.. this is fabulous!
Stranger: Finally, I can come out of hiding!
You: If you haven't been dilettanting in the highlands, she'd have lived! You broke her heart, you insipid rotter!
Stranger: Heart?
Stranger: She had no heart, the wretched whore
You: By the gods, man, have you no conscience? Have those lice-infested Scots influenced your innocence?
You: You used to be such a charming lad, Trolling.
You: Don't say that about, you pomp! Have your fill of free-hanging Scottish testicles yet?
You: Aren't you even going to her funeral?
Stranger: Times have changed, Ignatius, and so have I
Stranger: Perhaps one day you will understand
You: It's your sister, lad! Are you not going to honor her last request? She wrote in on fresh sheepskin, too. Don't you remember how you used to help in the stables, just to get the feel of the vellum cloth?
You: You HAVE changed Trolling. For the worse.
You: She, she said you were the only person who could make her laugh... Don't you get it man? She LOVED you.
Stranger: She was a fool, an ignorant fool!
You: What? Now you fall silent? Have you realized it already man? The constant hard labor, the cold, loveless disposition; she wanted to toughen you up for the horrors of the city!
You: You were the best of us, Trolling.
You: You were our only hope to cope with the ravishing streams of change.
You: And now, she's dead. All the hopes of our small village, rotting in the grave with her.
Stranger: My god Ignatius
Stranger: You're just like all the others
Stranger: I never thought it would happen
Stranger: Never thought you would succumb to their manipulation
Stranger: But now
Stranger: Now I see the truth
You: What are you going on about, man?
Stranger: This has been a waste of my time
Stranger: I thought you were going to support me!
Stranger: I thought..
Stranger: I thought you were my friend
You: Trolling, listen to me. Dartmouth is dying without people like you. We're all stuck in the past man! I'm a doddering old fisherman, salty from the Raun wind. Hells, I can't even read nor write!
You: But you were different, lad. So full of promise. I'm a selfish old dog, but you were our way out; you could have put Dartmouth on the map.
You: I can't support you if you've left the only family that has cared for you since you were but a babe! Gallivanting in Scotland, my god... Chasing monsters, have you? While the rest of us die out, forgotten by everyone.
Stranger: I..
Stranger: I..
Stranger: I'm sorry!
Stranger: Oh god, what have I done?
Stranger: I didn't mean to! I swears it!
Stranger: I was young and daft! I couldn't have known better!
Stranger: Oh please, please forgive me Ignatius!
You: It's...
Stranger: I've done so much wrong
You: It's too late for forgiveness, lad. Old Flaherty's dead, Mother Grace has left Dartmouth with that stuttering ponce of a son, John McCall--remember him?--paralyzed from brain fluid imbalance or some such. Everyone else has already left.
You: There's only Priscilla's funeral.
You: Here. Here's her last will and testament. I haven't read it myself. I owe you that much, I think. Open it...
Stranger: no
Stranger: No
Stranger: I just can't
Stranger: I cannot face all of this
Stranger: I can't do it
Stranger: Fare thee well Ignatius
Stranger: I love you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
_________________
love,
Job |
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The Goddamn
Insert Your Expletive Here!
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 111
Location: I live on the second floor
Sun May 24, 2009 8:46 pm |
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God. Nothing's going to top that. All I had was this Hamlet pseudo-mystery story that ended abruptly. Mostly it's Koreans like these:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hihihihi
You: Are you noteworthy?
Stranger: name
Stranger: what
Stranger: ??
You: Do you know what "noteworthy" means?
Stranger: no
Stranger: does it means writing notes???
_________________
Batman doesn't have any superpowers... except his money. |
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Uncle Gravy
Filter Fighter
Joined: 12 Dec 2008
Posts: 471
Mon May 25, 2009 9:59 am |
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Well, there was this one chinese chick who was telling me of her boy problems. Then we parted ways and I decided to roleplay a seventeen-year-old vietnamese girl for the next convo. And then then the next stranger tells the same damned boy story! I was talking to the same person, goddamn it.
Stranger: hey
You: hey im going to pretend to be a girl
You: is that ok?
Stranger: no
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: hey im going to pretend to be a girl
You: is that ok?
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: whatup bro
You: no i am a shy 14 yr old girl
Stranger: hahah 21 m usa here
You: with big juggs <3
Stranger: u?
Stranger: for real bro
You: i just told you my age, big brother!
You: oh well
You: im 20, m, philippines
You: arent our countries like
You: licking each other's ass atm?
Stranger: umm not really
Stranger: atm?
You: i have no idea man
Stranger: u gay?
You: nope
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: hi
You: careless whisper im gay
Stranger: kool
You: are you gay?
Stranger: me 2
You: oh holy your poetry
You: JACKPOT
Stranger: asl?
You: 23/m/vietnam
You: you?
You: 
Stranger: 25 male los angelus
You: hmm would you send me a pic?
You: i'll send you mine
Stranger: no
You: through email
Stranger: im not gay dud
You: why not?
You: oh man
You: why'd you go ahead and lie then
You: thanks a lot bud
Stranger: instresting conversational material
You: i had to go through 30 people
You: pretending to be chicks
You: and now i thought
You: i found a gay guy, wtf man
You: sigh, let's just chat then, dammit
and then a long chat with this dude who happened to be 14 years old and still in school. I was still acting the part though.
You: im a gay guy
You: 23/m/vietnam
You: your turn
Stranger: dang
Stranger: too far away
You: what
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: serious discussion pls
Stranger: hahaha
You: haha
You: sorry
You: so? in for it?
Stranger: no it's ok
Stranger: that was funny
You: haha, well, you know how stupid some people get here
Stranger: yeah it's bad sometimes funny though
You: and how may 14yr old girls looking for sex online are there anyway, haha
Stranger: no joke. 14/f/ my ass
You: so, asl
You: ?
You: just so i can you know imagine who im talking to, haha
You: no homo
Stranger: 19/M/AR
You: 20/m/philippines
You: is that arizona?
Stranger: Arkansas
You: sorry, not from the us,
You: oh
Stranger: it's really your poetry
You: so how is it in arkansas (i always read the s)
You: oh, really?
You: like how your poetry
Stranger: also cocks and the game
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Haha, I got played.
_________________
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