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Ruled by a Cat
Likes little girls with clover hair
Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 348
Location: Hey!
Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:41 pm |
 Post subject: Continue the Story |
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So here's how it goes, me pretties.
First you gotta wait for someone to post thar' episode unto this ere' forum.
Then you add yere own episode.
The idea is to make a community story, and see how it comes out.
Kind of like those talecraft cards those kids use, but we'll be without the cards on this voyage.
Well then, now the story starts, and of how my life came to be.
P.S. - For those who are not getting it, I have been role-playing the first character for these first parts. It doesn't matter how you write the story as long as it progresses. Also, try not to double post.
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It starts with me and me peg leg, during a stormy night. Rather then help me crew go about the business of fixing the deck, I decided that me log wasn't getting the love it needed from it's captain. Personally, I wouldn't do much with the writing, but she gave it to me, so I best write on it from time to time.
Before I gots to me log, though, I took a short glimpse at the map. It was supposed to lead us all back home, but it wan't quite right. There was something... different... about it.
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that and the game |
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taonggyera
You Can't Stop The Anger
Joined: 13 Jan 2009
Posts: 324
Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:17 am |
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Then Bhudda shat out hellfire and a Golden Walrus.
Peg-legged dude ain't pleased. Mario was his name
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Last edited by taonggyera on Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:35 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Uncle Gravy
Filter Fighter
Joined: 12 Dec 2008
Posts: 471
Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:34 am |
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Fortunately, Ruffio - or should I say, Captain Ruffio - was nowhere near to see Buddha excrete the Walrus of Dorado and the bottle of Hade's sand. He was instead staring at his map, along with the note stuck to it with scotch tape in a manner not easily taken off without damaging the paper, a manner that he made a point of of not letting happen. No matter, he would have to deal with that later.
He worried instead about the note, the vibrant pink against brown, old, paper; worried about what was written on it. "Bear in Storage," it said. Ruffio found it surprisingly direct. Usually he got terribly cryptic messages akin to "vinegar smiles on October-blown clouds". This, instead, was to the point. A bear was-
A crash below deck. Shouting. A flash of yellow to the Captains right. Ruffio turned, just in time to see...
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Job McBadass
Douche (Retired)
Joined: 01 Dec 2008
Posts: 920
Location: In the Moment
Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:38 pm |
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...the Cheddar Whale, thrashing at starboard with a monomaniac ferocity, like an incarnation of the collective malignity of humanity. Commodore Ruffio felt a deep miasma clutch his heart, leaving him with half a lung and mercury blood. He felt the general, impotent rage of the whole race of Adam descend upon him like a hot, ponderous mortar shell slicing through the molasses of generational complacency, freezing his knees together like lead bracelets. As he knelt there, outside a cold, clammy grey, eyes moving upwards, forwards, inwards and out, fingertips red from the ingratiating scratching, with a white, luminescent pyre burning the faggots of resolve, the Cheddar Whale, with the globes of its eyes emanating a sharp yellow glow, opened its mouth,
"INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE"
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love,
Job |
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Ruled by a Cat
Likes little girls with clover hair
Joined: 02 Dec 2008
Posts: 348
Location: Hey!
Sat Jan 17, 2009 8:02 pm |
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All hope seemed to be lost... when out of nowhere, a silver coin came flashing through the heavens, breaking the ship in two. Amazingly, due to the perfection of the coin's shape and weight, the cut was sharp, like when you cut a meet with a really sharp blade. I mean, you can just put it back together again, and like OH your poetry it's fixed!
Still, the coin plunged further into the depths of the ocean. A slight "plunk" echoed from the abyss as bubbles rose. The great mighty voice roared again from the skies.
"CHOOSE YOUR DEUS EX MACHINA"
Ruffio could not believe his eyes. It was like time had stopped as he made his selection out of the three items.
1. Send the foul beast into space.
2. Summon a lucky cricket.
3. Summon over nine thousand knives and a steamroller.
4. Call the warrior of the stars to clang his kitchen wares together and cook the giant whale into a mighty stew.
5. Load last saved game.
The captain, reviewing his options, did not like most, which seemed to be crazy, stupid, and mystical. Also, it seemed to ruin the mood of the times. The only choice that seemed to be the least of evils was that cricket thing.
"NUM BAR' 2!!!"
As if in an instance, time seemed to resume, and the whale continued to plunge forward towards his helpless victim. Suddenly, a light flashed forth from the whale's mouth, and out of it came what appeared to be a flying insect, glowing brightly in the night sky.
"COME TO US, GREAT WOODEN GOLEM!!!"
"RAAAWWWWWWWWWWR!!!"
Meanwhile, Buddha your poetry bricks.
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taonggyera
You Can't Stop The Anger
Joined: 13 Jan 2009
Posts: 324
Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:17 pm |
| Post subject: Re: |
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And from that golden insect, came out seven magic Dragonballs that will
randomly select an emo manga by Kazushi Hagiwara!! actor and turn him into a bigger atrocity . These are apparently set to determine the fate and course of mankind or some other, as they swirl aimlessly in a giant cosmic toilet in space. It shoots all those stuff out directly from it's pansy golden stingers - and towards Commodore Mario Ruffio's * eyes.
From that point, he finally thought something. He realizes that the map did not mean your poetry, or wasn't suppose to follow down a path or destination, beat the giant douche thing before him, or give his peg leg an interchangeable set of wheels with guns he always wanted when he was twelve. Or that the world may not actually be square. Or that freon could be edible if you ' put your heart and mind ' to it. Or that his forefathers ( that he murdered ) smile at him, as he pets a smiling seal.
It's that those careless whisper things hurt like fricking child-birth.
" ENDLESS PAIN OF JONAS BROTHERS !!!! ARRGH !!!!! careless whisper careless whisper THOSE THINGS !!!!! AND careless whisper THAT MUSIC !!!! I'M SNEEZING OUT MY DIGNITY !!! "
Mario snaps up from his blindness and pity party for a while. He takes a gander at his peanut-butter shaped boat, and sees :
"Hey. Those were balls."
DUN DUN DUNNNNN !!!!
- -
There is a mystery to be solved. And dolphins to be stabbed.
* Vega Gonzales Delacroix Jimenez Parpatua Lamaniguez Nuke The Fridge PWNED Schewerodowskoskay the XVII Pelayo |
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